Anger, is an emotion that all of us feel at some time or another. But how can you support an angry child in a healthy and calm way – for both of you?
How can you support them in navigating their way through these emotions.
Well, the first thing to consider when suppoerting an angry child is keeping yourself calm. When somebody, anyone, around you is angry, keep yourself calm. Keep your body language very open, no crossed arms. Keep yourself open and keep your voice as calm as possible.
If it is appropriate, give an angry child some space. An older teenager might just need to have half an hour listening to some music or some space away. Give them space to process this emotion.
Ultimately, this anger needs to come out. No matter what has caused it, no matter what situation you’re in, this anger needs to come out.
So provided that they are not harming themselves or harming anybody else, then allow them to process this emotion.
Try not to undermine the emotion, it is relevant to them in that moment. Regardless of what has caused it, regardless of what your opinion is on this anger, they are feeling it and they are experiencing it, so allow them to do that, allow them to process the emotion and go through the emotion.
Resist asking too many questions. If you are in the midst of anger, sometimes you just can’t explain it. And it is very much the same for children.
They can’t explain it. They can’t reason it. So avoid asking too many questions because it ultimately doesn’t matter too much.
They just need at the moment to get the anger out and to be able to come to a calmer place where they can then think clearly. But during the process of anger, there isn’t going to be any clear thinking.
Once the situation has calmed down, have the opportunity to have a conversation about it. reiterate that it is okay for them to have these feelings, but it is not okay for them to shout at you, or hit you, or anything like that, just keep your boundaries very, very strong.
Be very clear, be very kind and caring.
It is okay for them to feel anger, and anger will come up time and time and time again, but it isn’t okay for them to react the way they did to you. Just make that very clear and make these boundaries very strong.
Children, as much as they might push against boundaries, they need them. They need them to feel safe, they need them to feel cared for and considered.
Ultimately anger is not a bad thing. Yes, if your child has a tantrum in the store, it can be a little embarrassing. If, as a teacher, you walk into a class and there’s a child having a meltdown, having an anger issue, which could trigger other children, or could certainly disrupt the classroom, it isn’t ideal.
These things are all part of humans living and working together. It’s not a bad thing. It comes out, it needs to come out, it’s an emotion that we are here to experience.
And always deal with it with love, kindness and care. I hope these points have helped you. Please feel free to leave a comment if you have any other things to add as well. And let’s support each other in supporting the children. Sat Naam.
I am an Actress, Kundalini Teacher, Children’s Yoga Teacher and Mama. As the founder of the Train Children in Mindfulness course, I empower parents, teachers and any care giver to share mindfulness with children and teenagers.
My passion is ensuring that you are able to practice your self-care and enjoy your spiritual journey. My You Tube Channel provides masses of guidance and classes.
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